The gentle sun-kissed at eight in the morning as the wind blows playing my messy hair, the humming tweets of the birds in every corner of the wooden balcony around the green lushes of big trees sighted as far, the strong aroma scent of coffee and the garlic butter toast on the table, people running down the street wearing their beautiful smiles, the fact that I got up of bed is already a blessing. It’s been the routine mostly everyday to check my newsfeed while I savor every sip of my coffee either on Facebook or Instagram and taking fire selfies will surely never go out of style. Some things just never change. I was kinda hoping to receive a message from him since it’s evening in his time but nothing. I logged back in to the dating site (AD) and randomly browsed seeing guys from different curves of the world looking for fun and those for serious commitment. You don’t say I have high expectations of meeting someone from the app but I want to give it a try as some couples do have their successful meet-cutes stories online. 2 hours had passed and I heard a beep from my phone. “Good Morning, How was your sleep?” I was excited knowing later on we we’re gonna do a video call. I found myself day dreaming and smiling a lot with my blush on (you know the kind when you’re giddy). I wanted to say I’m yours, just tell me when to start. Really? Okay, I’m exaggerating. But for 2 days he made me feel so good, like wow! My sister used to tell me that I should write down all the qualities my future husband must have, which I did. I’ve got plenty and I remember the top on the list was he should be God fearing. My eyes lit up when he asked about my religion and saw he’s happy upon hearing I’m a Catholic. “God did you just sent this man?” Because I’ll take him without a second thought. It’s funny he would always say if he’s making me scared because of his kids.

You are hard to find. I thought it was you once or twice, but you’re still hiding…somewhere.

Your eyes tell a story. I know inside of you is so deeply beautiful. I’m almost sure you don’t know that, and maybe don’t see it even in the mirror. If you let me, I’ll teach you what I see in you, tell you how great you are.

You might be serious, happy, smart, funny, shy, artistic, like staying home or partying all night. You might be jealous, bipolar, emo, and throw thing when you’re angry (and all of that is okay). I like all of those things because they’re part of you I might be lucky enough to see. But if I miss you and you’d like to talk, please just say “hi”.

If you’re too shy or don’t know what to say, just tell me :do you like a sunrise or sunset? Do you like the mountains or the ocean, or Netflix at home? Coffee, or wine maybe?

So if you think you’re ready, just say “hi” and we’ll take it from there.

No matter how old you are whether you’re 12 or 45, we are all at the same level when we have a crush or love and the tendency sometimes most of us don’t trust the process that’s when we start to chase, and you know exactly when you’re chasing. So instead of, be yourself , do your own thing and work hard. As Will Smith once said “The right people, the ones who really belong in your life, will come to you and stay”. I truly believe in that. But ofcourse when you’re young chasing it’s fun, chasing is some kind of adventure until one day you get tired and just let go of things the way it’s supposed to and maybe in everything there’s always an exception yet it’s very important knowing what makes you come alive and then go do that.

Yesterday I was browsing on Youtube kept scrolling down until I saw the homily of Father Fidel. I was curious so I opened it. I loved how he delivered the message, the way he talks, he’s fun and I felt the sincerity of his words.” To whatever blessing God has put your name on, it’s yours! So if it’s meant for you, it’s meant for you”. You don’t have really to work your ass hard to keep people in your life, whoever! Friends, romance, strangers, whoever! Because right people doesn’t want to be chased rather they want to stay. Yes, love is very exciting but just remember everyone inevitably disappoints you in some way or another.

Once you fall inlove  there’s no turning back. It’s a one hell adventure. The sad truth? Sometimes the other heart fall out of love, no matter how we all wish to keep them for the rest of our lives. This isn’t some cliché sayings but it is what it is. Just like the moon we go through phases, but let’s complete the lunar cycle and return to our bright self again. After all we can all smile by habit not by choice. This isn’t some cliché sayings but it is what it is. They say when you meet your one true love then it will last forever. But I don’t believe in that. I don’t think there’s only one true love exist because in every relationship most often we started it with, PERFECT! He/she is the one! Until the day they’re not. Anyone you’re interested in or attracted to could be a potential, the challenging part is how to keep that fire burning and watch both of your feet dancing under the same beat. One morning you wake up, you maybe looking into different directions, starring at the blank wall while the intensity of the fire slowly cooling down and turning into ashes, moving your feet with different music, and yet holding each other hands tightly not to slip away. For me, that’s what true love is. It’s more than a feeling but a commitment to an imperfect people in an imperfect situation, seeking the highest good which often times requires sacrifice. Perfect people are easy to love. But none of us are perfect. Sooner or later we will disappoint each other but true love is a commitment towards imperfect people and still seeing the best of them. When we invest in something, lose everything good before even declaring a bankruptcy . We can let something slide 1,020  times but after that, we can forget about second chances. If you know what I mean. Remember there are two sides to every coin, if you fall inlove, fall inlove! Because in every lunar cycle the moon disappears for a while and it has a dark side too. We commonly hear “never change for someone to satisfy their fancy, I agree on that and I also agree that there’s a certain point in life when we have to change ourselves for the better “not for someone but because we know deep down we have some inner work to do. You and me could have some tangled mess of contradictory things, not to scare anyone but to properly love and not to worry about a thing because love is just very exciting and yet inevitably disappoints in some way or another.

One of my favourite to say, is “TRY IT”, that’s the first. To feed your curiosity about anything you’ve got to see it yourself instead of asking what if? what if? It’s not all the time you will be served of what you’ve asked for, let say someone invited for an overnight camping but you don’t feel like going cause it’s not comfortable to sleep with mosquitoes flying around or a nice washroom for vanity sane, so you reject them. I couldn’t travel alone, it’s scary! What if I get lost? or who will take pictures of me? No way! I don’t look good in orange, I’ll wear my favourite colour green. I’m not into hot chocolate, I’ll go for a coffee instead. I don’t like skydiving, I’m gonna die. And the list goes on. We seem to think that we know our self so well, that we know our preferences, what we like and we’re pretty quick to make up our minds about things that seems boring to us. If you always assume that you’re right and not even open to listen to others and change your mind, you will never grow. Because in order to grow you need to challenge your beliefs. You have to question them and you need others to question them as well. Whenever you’re having an argument with someone, look for reasons to be wrong. One of the quotes I like is from George Bernard Shaw “ Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything”. At certain point I was that girl and I still am sometimes, when I can’t really push myself, but none of these things I have or wouldn’t be in a place where I am now without the trying and slowly walking away from my comfort zone. Sure, failure is part of the scene but you’ll never know unless you “TRY IT”. You could either fall, get up and keep walking or stay in your comfort and never grow at all.

The 2nd “CHANGE YOUR SELF-COMPARISON MINDSET”. I mean I don’t think there’s someone who never compared/compares himself/herself to others. It’s the natural flow of our minds as human. It’s not always bad cause we have those that does good to us, however if it’s the kind that demotivates and makes us feel less then that’s a different story. A common situation is you went to a skin clinic and you feel so good and proud of yourself and then suddenly someone walks in already have a glowing skin and all of a sudden you don’t feel good about yourself anymore, but the truth is that person didn’t start of that way. She may even went to the clinic for years and spent too much to achieve the skin you’re getting envy now. You don’t know their whole story. You need to believe the small steps that you are taking and trust it’s value.

The 3rd is “YOUR PATH WILL CHANGE AND THAT’S OKAY”. Recently I had lots of changes in my life, aside from the current situation we’re all facing now, but then things may not always go the way we had planned no matter how much grip we put on it, change will still show up. I realized that in order to be okay with the change I have to learn to live with the uncertainty because that’s what really change creates. It creates uncertainty. I’m still working on it but living with it.

And the 4th is “YOU CAN”. When you don’t like a thing, change the way you think about it. Complaining can’t help. Because change won’t change to make you feel good, you need to make it happen yourself. No one gives a crap about you. Taking full responsibility over your life won’t happen overnight, you have to work on it and “YOU CAN’.

I am by no means an expert but these are some of the valuable ones I’ve come to take with me. What about yours?

Trust me it’s not easy as how comfortable I am while sitting and telling you now. #Realtalk? Well, it’s easier to judge people by the way they look, or how they talk and sometimes simply by watching their walks set an instant notion making patterns and associations even when they aren’t necessarily solid either in a good way or bad whatever might be. Could be a nod mutely at a friend’s tale of career, relationship, family woes and thought she was making a crazy choice? I mean who didn’t? I do! And it might be a place or a thing, maybe a food doesn’t matter. The thing is being judgemental is not a behaviour that serves us a golden plate. Let’s face it, we judge because we’re trying to fill in the gaps in our logic about the world around us. There’s more we DON’T know, than we DO know, so we try to “guess”. When we do, that’s making a judgement. I’ve heard million times not to judge people, and it’s funny how the same people judge other people harshly. I think that’s quite interesting telling someone you shouldn’t but I can.

Like a spur of the moment I just want to be a better soul. Slowly. Walking. Trying. Learning. Living.

So instead of being quick to say what I want to say, I breathe and pick my words before I open my mouth and say something. We don’t have a universal opinion on anything rather we go by what we thought of first, that’s the state of human nature to form impressions and opinions. “You treat others well and the Universe will reflect this treatment back onto you”. Getting the balance between open-mindedness and understanding nuance judgements is a life-long project. I am by far no expert myself, but I do enjoy a good positive exchange of judgement. Everybody has it’s own test in life and nobody‘s having a perfect straight line. I have some shares too and acknowledging it feels great. Replace criticisms with compassion. It makes me actually have a healthier relationship with myself and people around. I’m much better in understanding, listening or even giving an advice which makes someone find me could be trusted or someone to have a comfortable conversation with and I think that’s pretty amazing. “Everyone we know and everyone we meet has a secret struggle that no one knows about”.It’s not really about being perfectly perfect or being too nice but a little respect for each of us carrying our own baggage, be heavy or not.